Buddhism dating and marriage
Elizabeth’s favorite type of ice cream is chocolate and her favorite show is Gossip Girl.
She dresses in this way and likes those sorts of people and never drinks that sort of soft drink.
I was watching a television program the other day where an old married couple was fighting. Often we take our partner for granted when we should be seeing them as a principle object of our compassion.
In an attempt to ameliorate the situation, the husband brought his wife a cosmopolitan, saying he knows how much she loves them. The Tibetan word for compassion is , which can be more directly translated as “noble heart.” This is a helpful term when thinking about bringing compassion into our most intimate relationships: we need to fully offer those closest to us our noble heart. I believe many long-term couples continue to be excited by their partner, but they don’t follow up by inquiring just how their partner has changed. We have an understanding that everything shifts and is in transition around us.
” “You always leave the laundry for me to fold—why can’t you fold it too?
” “You always say that when I want to try something new.” When the expectations in a relationship get too fixed, they create the same destructive power as stuck emotions.
At some point, these aspects of your partner are likeable but they are not necessarily new and exciting anymore; you do not apply the same level of curiosity as you once did to the relationship since you already know so much about your lover.
Later on down the road, you may just stop being curious about your partner altogether. ” An argument of course immediately followed, based in the all-too-simple truth that sometimes we just stop inquiring who it is we are spending our life with and, as a result, we stop noticing when things change.
You don’t draft a contract or divvy up who does what, but at the same time you begin to believe that your partner owes you certain things.There’s a level of joy that comes from connecting with other people in this way that we don’t want to miss out on. However, its highs are dizzying, its lows traumatic enough that we want to rid them from our memory.