Dating a divorced woman without kids views on dating
I don’t think I will always do this, and there are certain moments when the phone definitely needs to be turned off, but while my kids are still in pre-college school, I’m at least going to make sure there is no emergency. But then there is my response and my boundaries with both my kids and my ex that must be understood and enforced as well. But when the text dings and it is, in fact, one of my kids… Let’s take this from the perspective of a FIRST DATE, rather than a developing relationship.In a first date, you are trying to make an impression.There are plenty of single parents who use their kids to get out of almost every obligation. exercise, dating, taking responsibility for their own actions.And I have been the dad who apologized for checking his phone when a text dinged while on a date.The issue is about MY management of MY relationship to my kids and my ex-wife and HER. With a single mom as a date, I know that she will understand when the kids trump our plans.However, with a date who is not a single mom, the same rule applies.And as I have stated that I didn’t think I’d be interested in dating a woman who was not a mom, I’ve had to revise that statement, based on new information.My fear about dating a woman without kids is more about boundaries and time management. It’s not about her wanting more of my attention or not.
From that point on, you should treat it like an unexpected emergency.
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Your willingness to let these types of requests become new plans can tell a lot about healthy boundaries and good parenting skills. Frustrated perhaps, but not hurt.“Dad, I need someone to pick me up after the cross-country meet and I can’t get Mom to pick up.” Things happen. And between strained ex-parents, there can be some manipulation and control going on. “Okay, count on me to be there if we can’t get your Mom to respond. But OF COURSE, go to your cross-country race, we will figure it out.”Kids can be an excuse to get out of anything. If your divorced dad is always breaking plans because their kid is sick, getting an award, has a recital… But I do know, that I push back on my kids all the time.
The text could be a request from one of the kids or the ex. ” And depending on the situation, you can choose to ignore (The discussion that evening, “You needed to ask me the night before, we’ve already got plans.”) or respond. Well, you might want to see why you’re no longer a priority. Make sure the two of you have a chance to establish enough rapport that you can ask, “Dude, if you don’t want to go to this event with me, just say it.” Kids can be the easy way out. They ask they demand, the whine, they want all kinds of things. And I know that if I have an opportunity to PLAY with my kids, at this point in my life, I’m going to choose that, whenever possible.An emergency will be evaluated on a case by case basis, and I will always attempt to let you know the real story.