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04-Jan-2020 16:34

However, because so few foreigners live in Japan, their best chance of meeting one in their normal lives is if they get lucky enough to have a native English (or other language) speaking teacher in junior high or high school.

Many people will even go to English Conversation schools in the hopes of making foreign friends.

Not surprisingly, many Japanese girls/guys who are interested in practicing a foreign language are also quite interested and open to dating a guy/girl from that country.

Many times it’s a lot more like a coffee date than a language exchange.

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A really common mistake that most guys make when they communicate cross culturally is they think their subtle, razor sharp wit and wordplay will impress.

However, often times that’s because you mis-read her yes as a no.

This tendency is often infuriating for newcomers to Japan but with time, you’ll work it out.

In general I’m always reluctant to recommend online dating to guys (the statistical chances of success are usually terrible for the average man), however there’s a few Japan focused dating sites where the “interracial appeal” may balance the odds a little, and of course there’s Tinder app for some quick swipe action. “English Lessons.” Websites like Hello Sensei (etc) let you teach English by offering lessons under the table. About ⅔ of the men I “teach” English to don’t ask for a second lesson once they find out I’m married. As a result, a lot of times their communication can be unclear or vague.

Two other friends started dating guys they met at English lessons. And in fact, this vagueness, or “aimai” in Japanese, is a well-studied trait in Japanese communication which is designed to be somewhat ambiguous to preserve the “wa” or harmony.You never know how big the language barrier is, and where exactly the gaps in vocabulary and grammar are, so let your gestures and facial expressions do as much of the work for you as possible.



My salient point is technology is a tool, not a replacement for an authentic tête-à-tête and interrelationship bonding in the real rather than virtual world.… continue reading »


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