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No amount of slumber party gossip about blow jobs and giving massive hickeys can prepare you for what your partner is actually gonna be into.The only way to find out is to ask them: Do they like oral sex, or would they rather leave that off the menu? Not only does asking questions show your partner that you care, but it may also encourage them to do the same—making the whole experience better for everyone."You're more likely to orgasm from oral sex or fingering," Marin says."Resist the temptation to think of these activities as the things you do before moving on to the 'main event.'" Whether or not you do orgasm the first time you have sex, clitoral stimulation is the key to most women’s pleasure, and vaginal intercourse doesn’t usually provide very much of it.Comfort with a new partner often takes time and communication, and that goes for both men and women.

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In the moment, it can be hard to figure out what exactly you want, so it can be helpful to talk after the fact about what you enjoyed, what you could do without, and what you’d like to try next time.It’s natural to worry that you won’t be "good" in bed your first time, but trust: what matters most is that you are invested in how your partner feels and vice versa, and that you two are communicating about it. " give your partner a chance to express appreciation for what you’re doing or (gently) ask for something a little different.