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08-May-2020 09:13

I went to a predominantly white high school where I was one of maybe five black kids.I grew up thinking that because I looked different, I somehow wasn't good enough.While scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across a link to a Gawker article that one of my friends reposted.In an essay entitled "The Reality of Dating White Women When You're Black," writer Ernest Baker tackles big topics like Eurocentric beauty standards, the taboo aspect of interracial relationships, and why he dates white women, among others: Why do I date white women?I met my current boyfriend the next night, and he we are, still together five years later.Still, I would never ever say that being in an interracial relationship has been easy.I was in a new city and in a completely new situation.

Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.

After years and years of internalizing the beauty standard promoted all around me, I headed off to college with a low self-esteem and essentially no sense of self-worth.

I went out to a frat party with my roommate on our first night.

One of my favorite things to do was to play with his hair.

He would lie with his head in my lap, and I would run my fingers through the blond strands.

As a young woman of color, I can attest to the fact that many people in this world feel it is their duty — no, their God-given right — to decide what is best for me, and especially whom is best for me to date.



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