Invalidating environment
19-Jul-2020 05:30
Rejecting feelings is rejecting reality; it is to fight nature and may be called a crime against nature, "psychological murder", or "soul murder." Considering that trying to fight feelings, rather than accept them, is trying to fight all of nature, you can see why it is so frustrating, draining and futile. Let's look at the facts." Businesses, for example, and "professionals" are traditionally out of balance towards logic at the expense of emotions. As a parent I want to teach my kids these things I’ve learned.A good guideline is: People with high IQ and low EQ tend to use logic to address emotional issues. This tends to alienate people and diminish their potential. So when they felt bad or angry I tried to help them find a way to make themselves feel better.
This is the focus of the emotion regulation skills in DBT (see Linehan, 2015), and DBT therapists often look for opportunities to help clients understand, experience, and regulate their emotions.
Emotion vulnerability can leave you feeling out of control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions.
You might feel consumed by your emotions and unable to see out of them. Marsha Linehan has described, people with high emotion vulnerability can be like emotional burn victims, sensitive to the slightest touch (Linehan, 1993a).
To adapt to this unhealthy and dysfunctional environment, the working relationship between his thoughts and feelings becomes twisted. The Power of Positive Thinking was a big one at the time.
His emotional responses, emotional management, and emotional development will likely be seriously, and perhaps permanently, impaired. She would have me read to her while she made dinner. I believe in being mindful of our feelings, and expressing them unless it would be harmful to someone else in which case, find a safe outlet – write, paint, maybe vent to a listening friend.
The other side of the “dialectic” here is self-invalidation.
