Media portrays online dating
Trejo says that when she goes on a date where food, not romance, is her priority, she doesn’t feel bad, noting that she still makes an effort to be an engaging dinner companion.“If it’s a guy that’s inviting me out, I do expect them to be the one to pay,” she says.Recently, he’s gotten some free pho, and the tab for the nicest meal he’s ever been treated to by someone he wasn’t interested in came in at more than 0.“I do always reach for my wallet, because I’m also not just a mooch,” he said.(The study didn’t look at men’s traits and worldviews.)The habits of the women in the study are enabled by cultural expectations: A strong majority of straight daters believe that men should pick up the tab on the first meet-up.Nevertheless, for the majority of the women surveyed, that alone isn’t enough of a reason to go out with someone.
While her heart wasn’t in it, her stomach was: “I mean, if it’s dinner, I’m not going to say no, so that I don’t have to go home and cook,” she told me.And it found that people who went on dates to get free food got higher scores on a series of multiple-choice questions designed to measure for a set of three traits that psychologists ominously call the “dark triad”: Machiavellianism (basically, a willingness to manipulate other people), psychopathy (a general lack of empathy and regret), and narcissism (an undue focus on the self).(The researchers weren’t diagnosing people with any disorders, but rather trying to test for levels of these traits that wouldn’t necessarily warrant a diagnosis.)Despite this association, the researchers stressed that these traits might not in and of themselves cause people to make “foodie calls.” “Other variables that we did not measure, such as previous relationship experiences or beliefs, could have influenced both a woman’s personality traits and their dating behavior,” Brian Collisson, a co-author of the paper and a professor at Azusa Pacific University, wrote to me in an email.“Some Women Are Going on Tinder Dates Just to Score a Free Dinner, So Be Extra Careful How You Swipe,” read a But men do it too.
Esteban Rosas, a 26-year-old resident of Phoenix who works for a credit-card company, says he often gets messages on Tinder from men he isn’t particularly drawn to, but a few times a month, he’ll take them up on their invitations to meet up if he has nothing else going on.“We chose this focus in part because of its consistency with traditional dating scripts and because this type of foodie call has received media attention,” the researchers write.