Things I never communicated when I was single now have to be made very clear very early on, including my expectations for how I’d like to be treated.I’ve noticed a similar set of misconceptions and assumptions about non-monogamy pop up in online messages and on dates again and again.While this list could be as never-ending as the many different ways it’s possible to practice non-monogamy, these are my top beginner picks for what you should know about dating someone who’s openly and ethically non-monogamous.I add the “openly and ethically” here because That said, no one wants an interrogation on their first date.
Much of that has to do with learning to navigate my own desires and emotions, but the assumptions of people I’m dating have also proved challenging.
They might be down for a casual relationship or casual sex, but you’re likely going to talk about sex and feelings way more than you would in a normal hookup.
Before I was non-monogamous, I rarely asked someone’s STI status, when they’d last been tested, or how many other partners they were sleeping with.
If you wouldn’t say it to a single person, don’t say it to us.
We no more want to hear about your desire to be “sloppy seconds” or get the message “DTF? This also goes for harassment about being non-monogamous itself.“Honestly, anyone who has been openly non-monogamous for any length of time has already heard all the insults.
How you feel about meeting their other partner(s) is a good litmus test for how you actually feel about the reality of their relationship model, which brings me to…And remember: ethical non-monogamy should always be consensual.