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Others, though, tone down their ambition — or even drop goals altogether — in order to attract or keep a guy around.
As Yi S., 31, a finance professional, learned the hard way, the latter can lead to bigger problems down the line.
So, what: You have to choose between your goals and a BF? Although guys’ attraction to girl power is more layered than you think, it is possible to find a partner who will support you. That same survey found that 87 percent of men say they’d be with a woman who made more than they did and nearly 90 percent wouldn’t mind if she were more educated. Jesse B., 33, a digital strategist, has been there.
He is supportive of his female friends’ dreams and sees himself settling down with a career type someday. “It’s intimidating when a woman is beautiful and successful and has her shit together,” he says. What I want in my head and what I go for are not usually aligned.” For Jesse and guys like him, in-the-moment feelings of emasculation are overriding their stated dating preferences, says psychologist Lora Park, Ph D, lead researcher of that University at Buffalo study.
Of course you can do these things for yourself — but it could be that he’s trying to show you affection.
And those type of acts, in any relationship, are genderless.
So rather than ask for her number, he’ll walk away.“Observe whether he has specific curiosity or feedback about your work,” says Walsh.