Women dating older men psychology
Resisting the “cougar” stereotype of older women wearing leopard print, drinking martinis, and ogling younger men, many women share their real stories of how younger men focused on and pursued . I have always dated men my age, and they were so set in their ways, Had so many resentments, hurt, anger etc. Older woman and younger man is the least successful of all pairings. Researcher Milaine Alarie, in a piece entitled “They're the Ones Chasing the Cougar” (2019) found that contrary to stereotype, very few women considered themselves “seductresses,” pursuing younger men who were “passively waiting to be courted.”[iii] Using data from 55 interviews with women from 30 to 60 years old who date younger men, she found that women were more likely to have played a passive role in forming the relationship when they were over 40 than in their 30s. They seem they are tired of life and just want to sit around.romance, adventure, passion.
Often, they also had cool mid-century furniture in their flats as opposed to Ikea and would make you a martini if you booty called them after the pub’.
Obviously, this is completely flawed because age doesn’t always prevent you from being a terrible person but, as dating apps take over and millennial men becoming increasingly hard to pin down because they’re all too busy nurturing their bromances anecdotally at least, it seems that older men who remember the world before Tinder are having their moment.
We think we know why we’re attracted to older men but is there more to it than we realise? She says that there is scientific evidence which suggests that ‘dad or shag’ is both a psychological and evolutionary phenomenon and not just a cultural cliché.
Alaire suggests that within the context of women-older dating, the ability or desire to “renegotiate the gendered script” that applies to forming relationships is tempered by cultural beliefs.
True Love Is Timeless Brian Collisson and Luciana Ponce De Leon (2018), exploring sources of prejudice towards age-gap relationships, recognize that evolutionary theory holds that younger women should prefer slightly older men and vice versa, in order to maximize reproductive fitness and attainment of resources.[iv] They note that atypical relationships of larger age gaps, particularly when the woman is older, are perceived to violate these established mate preferences. Curr Psychol (2018), https://doi-org.edu/10.1007/s12144-018-9895-6.
Similarly, Susan (not her real name) is 27 and currently about to move in with her 44-year-old boyfriend Shaun (yep, not his name either).